Would you marry a couple where only one was a Christian?
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[Poll]
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Would you marry a couple where only one was a Christian?
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| Yes: I am a pastor |
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| No: I am a pastor |
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| Yes, pastors should do this: I'm not a pastor. |
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| No, pastors should not marry such a couple: I'm not a pastor. |
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Total Votes : 69
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(last vote on : 7/30/2010 12:16:05 AM)
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Would you marry a couple where only one was a Christian? - 7/8/2009 11:41:04 AM
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zoebob
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I guess that asks it all. WOuld you perform a wedding for a couple where only one professes to be a Christian?
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 12:16:39 PM
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mvic
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I have seen it in practice where couples marry and only one is a Christian - a sure recipe for disaster.
There was a time when our church would not marry "mixed-Faith" couples. Now the practice is more lax to suit modern lifestyles, and presumably to avoid migration of the flock to other more lenient churches.
I regret this dilution of standards.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 1:27:01 PM
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rcjames
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Absolutely I would not marry a couple where one of them was not a Christian.
Never have; never will.
I also will not marry a couple where both are not Christian.
Thanks
RC
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 4:52:57 PM
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TMeeks
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The picture of oxen being unequally yoked says it all.
A Christian has a living spirit. A non-believer has a dead spirit.
If we visualize one live oxen in a yoke dragging around a dead oxen in the same yoke, we get a very vivid picture of what is happening to the spirit of a Christian that is married to a non-Christian.
It's not that one oxen is MOSTLY dead. Or, that one has a spirit that is MOSTLY dead.
They are REALLY dead and, as such, are nothing but dead weight weighing down the living oxen or living Christian. It's difficult to soar when you're dragging around a dead, liveless body... OR dead lifeless spirit.
So, no. There are a million practical and spiritual reasons for refusing to perform the marriage of a Christian to a non-Christian.
In regards to marrying non-Christians in the church, it would seem to me that the couple has other options for legal marriage. Enjoying the trappings of the church without seeing the truth of the Saviour is actually counter-productive to their long-term spiritual awakening. So, I agree with RC on this one, too.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 7:59:06 PM
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zoebob
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I'm glad to see this response after reading of another pastor who would perform such a marriage. In fact in my denomination, a member who wanted to marry a non-believer would be brought up on church discipline and if they refused to repent would be excommunicated.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 9:19:28 PM
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JesKlu
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I voted no. I don't think pastors should marry a Christian and non-Christian. Too risky. Mine wouldn't.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/8/2009 9:59:34 PM
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slushie
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No. I think it's just asking for trouble.
Has it happened in my church? Yes.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 6:03:57 AM
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walkin2e
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How can you know for sure if they are a born again believer in Jesus Christ?
Many say they are "Christians" just because they joined a church, was baptized, and faithfully attend...but have never been born again.
What is the definition of Christian? I believe a Christian is one in whom Christ lives...born again...not merely a member of someone's church.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 8:17:39 AM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: walkin2e
How can you know for sure if they are a born again believer in Jesus Christ?
Many say they are "Christians" just because they joined a church, was baptized, and faithfully attend...but have never been born again.
What is the definition of Christian? I believe a Christian is one in whom Christ lives...born again...not merely a member of someone's church.
walkin2e
By the time I get through the counseling sessions (40 hours total, 10 hrs. each individually, 20 hrs. together) I difinately know if they are believers or pretenders.
Thanks
RC
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 8:23:49 AM
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zoebob
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We can get a fairly good sense of whether their testimony is true by getting to know someone. However, I am asking more about a couple where they come to you and say "I'm a Christian but he's an atheist/buddhist/whatever. Will you marry us?"
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 9:01:52 AM
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TartanPaint
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Having counselled the Christian in relation to God's word, if they were still determined to marry, then I would;
a. Allow he/she to take full responsibility before God for their decision.
b. Allow he/she to excercise their God given free will.
c. Marry them yes, but not in a church building.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 9:15:02 AM
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buckifn
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I am not a Pastor, so not sure if you want remarks only from Pastor's...but I believe all Leader's are going to be held accountable for the way we lead other's and I believe by marrying them I would be telling them to go ahead and disobey Scripture. I would say No, and explain the reason why to them.
Looking at it from a natural pov it would be like aiding and abetting a criminal. If those charges apply in criminal law don't you think spiritual law is even more binding. In this case, spiritual law would be obeying God's Word on marriage.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 9:16:12 AM
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Lapidoth
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I tend to refer them to a "justice of the peace" if
they insist on marrying an unbeliever.
I would rather perform a funeral than a marriage these days.
You know people do not "profess" to be dead, they are.
An unbeliever's funeral or funeral of a saint with unsaved loved
one's is an opportunity to share the gospel in a way that the
Spirit may lead. Death is certain.
I've had people ask me to marry them with the attitude that
if it doesn't work out they can just divorce. I give them an
emphatic "NO" for an answer. If that's the attitude, it will
end up in divorce for sure.
After experiences we have had, we will only marry "members"
of our church. I've turned down many requests. Many of them
are looking for someone to perform a service for "free" and want
the church to give them a big party. Sorry, not here.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 11:34:04 AM
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TartanPaint
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One vital thing that seems to be missing from this thread so far is the fact that marriage is a creation ordination, ie, ordained by God that man and woman should be joined to each other in faithful monogamous fidelity.
So, are we to look at the whole counsel of God, or are we to cherry pick the bible?
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 12:22:59 PM
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TMeeks
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
One vital thing that seems to be missing from this thread so far is the fact that marriage is a creation ordination, ie, ordained by God that man and woman should be joined to each other in faithful monogamous fidelity.
So, are we to look at the whole counsel of God, or are we to cherry pick the bible?
I agree that marriage is a universal ordinance... going well beyond Christians. And, as far as I can tell, there is no prescibed ceremony in all of Scripture that defines a marriage ceremony.
So, when it comes to the questioning as to whether a PASTOR should perform a ceremony between a Christian and a non-Christian or between two non-Christians then it seems to me that deciding whether or not that is to be done in one's church is only relevant to the Bride/Christ symbolism represented by a Christian ceremony.
However, denying the couple a church wedding does NOT preclude other types of marriage ceremonies. And, perhaps that is WHY the Bible is silent on ceremonial content.
And, we cannot get into the ultimate aspects of what constitutes a 'marriage' between one man and one woman without quickly running afowl of the forum rules because the question as to whether or not a formal ceremony is necessary at all quickly arises. 
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 12:26:37 PM
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TartanPaint
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TMeeks
quote:
ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
One vital thing that seems to be missing from this thread so far is the fact that marriage is a creation ordination, ie, ordained by God that man and woman should be joined to each other in faithful monogamous fidelity.
So, are we to look at the whole counsel of God, or are we to cherry pick the bible?
I agree that marriage is a universal ordinance... going well beyond Christians. And, as far as I can tell, there is no prescibed ceremony in all of Scripture that defines a marriage ceremony.
So, when it comes to the questioning as to whether a PASTOR should perform a ceremony between a Christian and a non-Christian or between two non-Christians then it seems to me that deciding whether or not that is to be done in one's church is only relevant to the Bride/Christ symbolism represented by a Christian ceremony.
However, denying the couple a church wedding does NOT preclude other types of marriage ceremonies. And, perhaps that is WHY the Bible is silent on ceremonial content.
And, we cannot get into the ultimate aspects of what constitutes a 'marriage' between one man and one woman without quickly running afowl of the forum rules because the question as to whether or not a formal ceremony is necessary at all quickly arises.
Thank you for bring balance (biblically) into this discussion.
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TartanPaint
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 12:41:25 PM
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zoebob
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a big difference between marrying 2 non-believes vs marrying a believer and a non-believer. You are right that the Bible doesn't prohibit marriage to all people. However, that doesn't mean that any 2 people should be allowed to marry. God specifically forbids marriage between believers and non-believers. To say that it's not a sin and help them in that would be equivalent to marrying homosexuals. Would you do that too Tammy?
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:07:51 PM
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TartanPaint
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
a big difference between marrying 2 non-believes vs marrying a believer and a non-believer. You are right that the Bible doesn't prohibit marriage to all people. However, that doesn't mean that any 2 people should be allowed to marry. God specifically forbids marriage between believers and non-believers. To say that it's not a sin and help them in that would be equivalent to marrying homosexuals. Would you do that too Tammy?
I do not think that there is any comparison to be made between marrying a man and a woman and what you suggest. I think that one major thing that is being missed here is that God has given all human beings free will, if a Christian and a non-Christian are determined to marry then as a Christian I would have to respect their choice and extend grace to them.
To be legalistic in my opinion could drive the Christian away from Christ and the church, I would rather that they both attended church after the wedding, thus bringing the non-Christian under the gospel week by week.
I also believe that it is dangerous to legislate for every situation, people are different, including Christians, which means they should be treated as such and not as robots!!
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TartanPaint
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:23:09 PM
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buckifn
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Both are against God's will so I don't see how giving your approval can be accepted in God's eye.
The ceremony doesn't matter- the union of two souls does. God said don't do it.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:34:22 PM
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TartanPaint
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
Both are against God's will so I don't see how giving your approval can be accepted in God's eye.
The ceremony doesn't matter- the union of two souls does. God said don't do it.
Divorce is also against God's will, does that stop Christians divorcing? Sin is against God's will...
My assumption in your arguement is that you are referring to 2 Cor 6: 14, if so, my question is this; is Paul referring to marriage? He seems to deal comprehensively with the whole marriage issue in 1 Cor 7.
< Message edited by TheTartanTammy -- 7/9/2009 1:45:09 PM >
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TartanPaint
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:36:00 PM
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TartanPaint
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
I guess that asks it all. WOuld you perform a wedding for a couple where only one professes to be a Christian?
What is the biblical basis for your question?
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TartanPaint
Isa 40: 11
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:45:20 PM
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zoebob
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We are told not to be unequally yoked.
By marrying a couple who are not both Christians (or both non-Christians but which isn't the point of this thread) you are helping/enabling them to sin.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 1:47:18 PM
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TartanPaint
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
We are told not to be unequally yoked.
By marrying a couple who are not both Christians (or both non-Christians but which isn't the point of this thread) you are helping/enabling them to sin.
Are you referring to 2 Cor 6: 14, if so, is Paul talking about marriage since he deals with the subject in 1 Cor 7?
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 2:11:47 PM
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buckifn
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quote:
Divorce is also against God's will, does that stop Christians divorcing? Sin is against God's will...
Good point, and No, it doesn't stop ppl from getting a divorce...However, I personally do not advocate divorce to someone as an answer to their marital problems. Separation can resolve things as much as a divorce can.
My prior statements were based on the Scripture that says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers...and also on the Script. what fellowship does light have with darkness....A house divided against itself cannot stand.....and to me that is saying a marriage could never work because someone is either for God or against Him and I already know I am for Him.
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RE: Would you marry a couple where only one was a Chris... - 7/9/2009 3:24:44 PM
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Bro_Shane
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I'm with RC. I will not officiate a ceremony where either one or both are not believers.
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